As Father’s Day 2015 comes to a close, I am reflecting on how much I’ve enjoyed looking at countless Facebook posts and Instagram pictures of dads from their families. Honestly, I’ve been a bit surprised – in a culture that typically depicts fathers as clueless nitwits, the outpouring of affections for fathers has been a real joy to look at today. It only increases my desire and eagerness to be a father myself some day.
Yet, as I look over all these posts tonight, I am reminded that this is not an easy day for a lot of men. In fact, it can be quite hard. I think our society has bought into a lie that struggles with loneliness or infertility are harder on women than men. I am convinced this is a lie – society has just taught us how to better mask our emotions.
As far as I know, the only thing preventing my wife and I from having children are time and finances, so I can’t share in much of the pain many men are experiencing right now. I don’t know what its like to eagerly wait for long periods of time for a wife. I can’t share in the pain of a miscarriage. I am unable to relate to struggles with infertility. I’ve never experienced the seemingly endless wait for a child in the adoptive process. I’ve never had a portion in any of these things.
Yet, I do know a few things that I can share with you hopeful fathers out there today, and I hope they’re of some encouragement to you. I do not share these as simple platitudes, but as basic truths that I will pray can work into your hearts tonight – and mine.
1. Your heavenly Father loves you.
Oh Christian, he loves you. The highest honor and care any of us could have ever received into be adopted into the family of God, to be called a son or daughter of the King (Romans 8:16-17, Galatians 4:4-7, Ephesians 1:5, 1 John 3:1) . The greatest love of our Father is seen in how he delights in, is excited by, finds joy in, and loves us as one of his own. Never forget the unparalleled, indescribable love that the Father has shown all of us who are in Christ.
2. Your desire to love a child is a reflection of God’s love for his children.
When we were unaware of God’s love, He came after us. We did not love God first, He loved us (1 John 4:10). I don’t know why you don’t have a son or daughter in your arms right now. I can’t know that. But I do know you can be confident that your desire to express love to a child is a natural outflow of God’s immense love for you. This is an incredibly godly thing, and you should not be ashamed of your emotions or desires.
3. Never forget the family God has placed you in.
Jesus said that our family increases in this life by a hundredfold when we come into the family of God (Mark 10:29-31). The reason Paul is able to write to Timothy commending us to treat older men as fathers (1 Timothy 5:1-2) is because that is exactly what they are. If you’re an adult man in the family of God, you’re a spiritual father to younger people in your church. You must not discredit the role you now have in God’s family.
4. Do not neglect the influence you can have on younger people in the faith.
Paul routinely called Timothy his child/son in the faith (Philippians 2:19-22, 1 Timothy 1:2, 2 Timothy 1:2). Paul calls Onesimus his child because of the close relationship they shared in the faith (Philemon 10). As an adult male, you have been given tremendous responsibility and ability to influence younger generations in your church. God has given you the ability to build such a strong relationship with others that it can parallel a father and his child.
To all you hopeful fathers out there – I pray now that in the midst of your brokenness and pain today (which is a perfectly Christian emotion to have) you will have some small encouragement in the faith which is yours in Christ. Remember the great love that our Father has for you.